life stinks

So finally, I get to see my cousins. After an entire week of plans falling through, finally, I see them. And also, I get to see my other cousins as a bonus! But you know what really sucks though?

It was a fucking ten minute reunion.

You can't rebuild a relationship you lost in ten minutes. That's just insane. I wish I could have more time with them. God, I wish I could drive. My parents are so annoying! They wouldn't let me stay and hang out with them. I want to talk to them, to get into that comfort zone of letting everything out. We used to be close--Dallas kids, Lewisville kids, Colorado kids--but now, we're all so drifted from each other. Some of our group is already in the college while the others are getting ready for it. Heck, even I'm getting ready for it. Who knows when we'll see them next? No, we don't know. It could be three years from now. It could be longer. But Christ, its been like, ten years since all of us had gathered around. And yet, I was only able to spend ten minutes.

But I'll always worship those ten minutes as the best ten minutes of my life.

I didn't even get anything for black friday. Apparently, it didn't affect me. My sister bought so much, whereas I got nothing. I was the only one that left the mall empty-handed. Whatever. I don't care.

I can't wait until I can drive.

It's only two more years and then I'm so out of here. I'm ready to be by myself; be the boss of myself. I'm sick of other people (my parents) making decisions for me. My dad kept talking about college today, but everytime he mentions it, he keeps hinting that he wants me to stay in Texas. Why would I do that when I'm going to put myself through IB? Why not go the full mile? Why not shoot for an international school, or an Ivy League school? God, if he wanted me to stay home so bad, he should stop trying to tell me to do better so I can get into a really good college.

Because Stanford compared to A&M, I'm sure Stanford would win.

Whatever, I'm tired right now. Its 1 in the morning. I have a KD workshop that I'm really not wanting to go to tomorrow. The Oklahomians are coming- not looking forward to that. I just want to see my best friends tomorrow. That's the only thing keeping me going.

But to be honest, I'm not really wanting to see them either. But it's better than being with the Oklahomians. I guess I should sleep. And drown myself in Seungri.

That's the only way I'll feel better.